My anxiety feasts on uncertainty. It screams “HOLD ON! We don’t know what will happen if you do that so just *don’t*! And I can keep you safe.” 🙃 I listen, we don’t do the thing, and voila! Nothing happens. And also…*nothing gets done*. Meaning, there are 👏🏼 so 👏🏼 many 👏🏼 things we simply don’t do. And by “we” I mean me…and my anxiety.
Between the uncertainty of life with a chronic illness, the uncertainty of life with a dog&baby, and just…the uncertainty of life in general, it has become a glaring problem since my daughter was born. I have this whole human to take care of in addition to myself and not scheduling her doctor appointments or refilling my own meds because I can’t handle being on hold on the phone just doesn’t fly.
So I started therapy for OCD and am slowly crawling my way out of this anxious web of obsessive doubts. Now that I understand more about the underlying causes of my obsessions, I’m looking for new ways to challenge myself and create learning experiences. I am an adventurer at heart and framing daily anxieties – whether nervousness about trying to hike because I don’t know how it will go or hiring a babysitter for the first time despite intrusive thoughts about all that might happen while Hadley is out of my sight – as adventures gives me so much to look forward to each day while also holding me accountable. So…adventure each day here we come. I’ll be sharing this project a few days each week on Instagram and TikTok if you’d like to follow along. And if some version of this feels right for you, I’d love it if you join me!
This is us these days. 