Tall Tips Tuesday

This week’s tip is my favorite: buy yourself some shorts and let ‘er rip. Not the shorts, but your life.  Yes shorts can be that life changing.  If you are tall, chronically ill, and/or like to play, then this tip is for you.


My favorite brand of shorts is Jockey’s women’s slip shorts from Target because they are a lightweight athletic material AND they cover me up. Also they’re NOT SPANX! They’re JUST shorts! #FREEDOM!

Tall problems answers: I bought this BCBG dress at Goodwill and guess what? It’s too short. *Surprise!* Just kidding that’s not a surprise.  Instead of crying I wore slip shorts and then I went to take my recycling to the recycling center.  #missionaccomplished
Chronically ill problems answers: If you zoom in on the right of this photo you’ll see me – a chronically ill person – plopped on the floor of the gallows at the El De House in Cologne.  It doesn’t feel awesome to not be able to support myself in gravity but I’d rather show up, sit down, and learn about the Third Reich than not show up at all.  And wearing shorts means I don’t have to work hard to keep myself covered which is good because I work hard to look awake.
Inner child problems answers: You guys if you wear shorts then you can wear dresses AND do cartwheels in the park!  You can also do cartwheels in the park if you wear a dress withOUT shorts.  It just depends on whether you want an audience.
 

Shorts are my favorite!

Friday Style

Today I went jean shopping in Cologne, Germany and you know what I decided? Fuck denim. I went thrifting and got sweaty and discombobulated. And then I said “this is crazy just go to a store” and I found a nice store and went in and couldn’t get the jeans over my sweaty ankles.

I’m going to look up some fancy denim boutiques to hit up and start there. I’m generally about 100% thrifting everything but blue jeans in a thrift store dressing room is just too stressful for my delicate sensibilities.

If you think this girl is about to cry then you’re a master at reading human emotion,  That’s sarcasm.  OF COURSE THIS GIRL IS ABOUT TO CRY! The jeans situation is dire.  #firstworldproblems

BUT! I found this Native American-ish scarf and said HELL YES! I LOVE Native American patterns but the colors don’t work for my winter complexion. Good thing it was big and thick enough to want to be a skirt!

About this photo (and why WordPress won’t let me caption it):

  • headscarf by MOI!
  • Heart glasses from consignment store
  • Earrings (full price) from nickel and suede
  • Black necklace (full price) from White House Black Market
  • Yellow necklace from grandma
  • Striped top by Zara via the Goodwill
  • Scarf skirt by…?…via Humana in Cologne
  • Black booties (full price) from Nine West.

Okay I talk a big game about hating denim but I think it’s only because I want it SO BADLY! So many of my favorite outfits in my head are with fantastic blue jeans.

Why can’t I find jeans that a) hit the ground, b) don’t gap around my waist, AND c) don’t expose my pubic hair? So far I’ve only found pairs that meet 2/3 of those criteria.

Advice? Help a sister out!

Tall Tips Tuesday: Thrift long and alter

In which I make a dress for a tall person (me) and then I tip over.


Today’s Tall Tip Tuesday is brought to you by this fantastic vintage dress that I bought at Goodwill a few weeks ago. I’ve always been a thrifter but it wasn’t until I understood my measurements and my proportions that I actually got good at thrifting, or shopping in general for that matter.

My photo shoot buddies!

There have been many many many times that I have thrifted something only to donate it without ever wearing it 2 years later, either because it didn’t actually fit my body and my style, or because I had ridiculously ambitious alterations in mind that never came to be. Due to over-buying and under-altering I made a rule a while back that if I couldn’t make it wearable (or usable with respect to furniture, etc) within 24 hours then I can’t buy it.

I broke that rule for this dress because it took me a month to get to the alterations but now they’re done and I have a dress that fits perfectly!!!

So this Tuesday’s Tall Tip is to: thrift long and alter.

Dresses will always be too short for me. It’s just my reality. (Except for the year that Old Navy Tall made dresses with a long waist and I bought all of them.) Since I love fun, patterned fabrics that rarely come in tall, I started lopping off big portions of thrifted dresses to get exactly what I want.

I used the Old Navy Tall dress that fits perfectly as my “measuring stick” and cut the red dress to be approximately the same length.  I have my Singer Featherweight fired up right now so I decided to pin it and hem it, but I have many a dress with a raw hem, especially when the fabric is one that won’t run.   I pinned the dress so that the back would be a touch longer than the front, based on what I know about my body, sewed it up, and boom! Done! Oh also I cut the sleeves.

​​